Still Growing Home

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  • Depression lurks

    LIES

    Depression lurks in the darkness, silent and still.  I try reading the scriptures.  “Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.”  Ephesians 3:20.  Trying to fill up on who I am and what I have in Christ.  Depression is patient and quiet.  I read:  “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

    I have let cares overtake my faith.  Inch-by-inch they worm into my heart and my emotions and all I can see is that my life doesn’t line up with what God says about me.  God says, “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them:  because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.”  I John 4:4.  I should be an overcomer,  But all I can see is inadequacy and failure.

    TRUTH

    What is the truth?  Depression joins me as I muddle between cares I often can’t control and truths I’ve let slip, foolishly.  Meditating on the word, I remember God’s truth is the highest truth.  There is no higher truth!  When my life, whether it be health, finances, time, or emotions run amok, does not line up with Gods word, it’s time to reexamine God’s truth and acknowledge that I’ve believed a lie!

    Reading the word out loud and praising God for who He sees I am, allows the Holy Spirit to bring peace.  It brings clarity and vision.  It is very important to get in the word.  Every time I have realized what was happening and begin to praise God I leave depression in the dust.

    Settling in with His word I read, “Thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus” Philemon 6.  What better way to see provision for myself than by soaking in the scripture.  He has provided a complete plan, covering every circumstance.  Praise God!  I confess:  “The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7.

    Depression readily leaves as I take time to align with God, instead of my own thoughts and emotions.

  • Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches

     Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches is a book for all young mothers.  Living in the trenches with littles is hard work!  Rachel Jankovic, mothering with humour, shows us how to live in Christ.  With 5 children under 5 she speaks from rock hard experience.  Her antidotes will have you laughing, while you rethink your parental training.  This little book is a nuts and bolts story of mothering.  Read these short chapters, while doing your ablutions. : ))

    In Chapter 4 she is talking to parents:  About us getting a fruit of the spirit speed quiz.  Little tests for patience, for our peace, for our kindness.  They are easy Christian living challenges brought to us daily by our children, and the allotted time is our waking hours.   Sometimes sporadically through the night.  Day after day…. and we begin to get it, we get new problems, harder ones.  So what’s our attitude.  And what is our children’s attitude? They may have gained a victory over one thing only to find us upset about the next!  “It is not as though our children are going to emerge from their current problems into perfect holiness if only we give them enough swats.  They are going to emerge from one set of problems into the next, and that is good.”

    In Chapter 5 she talks about little girls and training them to deal with their emotions.  “We tell our girls that their feelings are like horses.  Beautiful, spirited horses.  But they are the riders.  We tell them that God gave them this horse when they were born and they will ride it their whole life.  God also sets us on a path on the top of a mountain together and told us to follow it.  We can see for a long way–there are beautiful flowers, lakes, trees and rainbows. (we are little girls after all!)  This is how we  “walk in the light as He is in the light, and have fellowship with one another.”  (1 Jn 1:7)   Our emotions act up and the horse begins to bolt we rein them in and get back on the path.”  If we see one of our siblings off the path we help get them back on.  this is beautiful, training small children to deal with sin issues that overwhelm us in adulthood, because we aren’t taught to rein our horses in.

    I couldn’t resist Chapter 6 because it again speaks directly to parents : ))  The chapter is on fruit bearing.  As a young person Rachel laid in bed at night and heard the apples dropping to the ground.  Not a few, but continually dropping, during the night. “God does not tell us to necessarily be strategic with our fruit.  We do not need to know what will happen to the fruit.  Will someone check on it every day?  Harvest the best to make a pie?  Or will there be a junior high kid sweating around among the yellow jackets trying to pick it all up–wishing that we were not quite so bountiful?”  She asks if we hold ourselves back from doing things afraid to fail or afraid that it won’t measure up to our standards?  All we need do is be fruitful, we don’t need to assess the outcome.  Mothering is giving all and then some!

    A snippet from chapter 9:  When there are 4 children with individual issues, and you discipline an individual for a collective situation, you are alienating that child, without dealing with your own issues or the issues of the others.  Such good stuff!

    I wish I had seen Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches when I was young, when I was mothering littles, and later when I was extremely overwhelmed. Such a treasure of wisdom and discernment. Truly a book about heart issues in our children and ourselves. This small book is not a complete parenting guide.  I don’t agree with everything written, but this book is well worth the cost and your time to read. Chapter 20 mentions a scripture in Ecclesiastes 5:19:   “Everyone to whom God has given wealth, and possessions, and the power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil–this is the gift of God. For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart” Let our hearts be filled with joy as we toil in the day to day, oft times menial labor of our children.  We will not remember most of the labor of planting, when the harvest comes.

    Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches

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  • Sourcing His Presence Day by Day

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    I have been listening to some cd’s by Katie Souza.   Her conviction that everything starts, proceeds, and ends in Jesus, has stirred my heart.  She is sourcing His presence.  Over the last 3 years I have spent more and more time with Him, through the day.  But as we all know there is more!   Her walk with God is dynamic.  A women who calls me to come closer to her Saviour.   Have you read or listened to someone who stirred your heart for a deeper walk with Jesus?  She stirs my heart with conviction.  And also makes me fear failure.  Is it possible for me to live in Christ?  Will I fail to draw close?  Maybe from hardness of heart and lack of interest?  Will I be willing to spend more hours a day with Him or will I shirk, enjoying the pleasures of my home and family?

    Though the calling to come closer may not look the same for all of us, it is a calling on all of our lives.   God’s call for extreme fellowship, ultimately frees us to be all we can be. His calling with conviction, will also make our paths straight.  He will bring light for us to see, and strength to do.  (John 8:12, Ps 27:1)   In all of these things I’m more than a conqueror  Romans 8:37. Surely He has prepared my way to draw close and be sourced from Him.  I have seen irritations and offenses not affect me because I was walking close to Jesus.   I think of it like oil, and the pressures of life washed over me because I was in His presence.  Where do I begin, except sacrificing my time. Do you find it hard to focus more on Jesus?   How we say no to the temporal and yes to the eternal.  This is hard?  Yes, it is.  I am a doer, and I like to be moving.  Will you also begin to focus more on the Kings of Kings, and Lord of Lords, making Him preeminent. Please feel free to share your experiences with time in His presence.

  • Nuggets of truth

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    I sit, listening to a child give counsel.  And the small gracious nuggets stick in my craw.  (for you non chicken people that is the place where there are little pebbles that ‘chew’ up a chicken’s dinner.)  Older children have a lot to offer a mum/mom (my daughter-in-law is from New Zealand and I enjoy her words) whose been parenting for 30 some years and isn’t perfect!  So I listen, and hope I don’t choke on this gracious little nugget!  As they finish I realize they have grown up to love the Lord.  They are listening to His counsel.  And they have words of wisdom for me.  Is it easy?  NO!  Some of it I’m still digesting.  But I am praising God that when I asked for wisdom 30 odd years ago for my children I got it and God has blessed even though I knew little about raising children.  My children have followed the Lord.  More than that in some ways they have grown beyond me in their walk with God.  Will they do it the same, or will it look the same?  NO!  It will be the Spirit moving them in paths I never imagined.  All of them have a greater heart for the lost and for missions than I did.  Is it scary?  YES!  Even though they have a good sense of humour/humor, they are all serious about God… So…. each time I will listen, though it is unpalatable and I want to choke!  I will remember my little chickens breaking down their food in their craws, and I’ll be watching for the truth in those nuggets.

  • Thoughts on Hearing God

    My belief system of the absolute impossibility of hearing God regularly, moment-by-moment does not line up with scripture.  I need a new lens to assimilate truth.  How many have gone before me in faith and by faith, hearing God regularly.  The early disciples certainly understood the still small voice.  Many, many others through His story have understood the daily means of an open ear to heaven.  So while I AM HEARING GOD, I believe it to be my own thoughts most of the time, or only later realize it was God’s voice that spoke life.  An ear toward that inner voice is a practice hourly, awash with forgiveness for myself when they day has passed and I realize I wasn’t.  His grace is big enough to deal with my foolishness.  And slowly a practice, will become my habit, bit by bit.

    Reminders:

    Put scripture throughout my home on 3×5’s or notecards.  On the mirror in the bathroom, on my bulletin board, on my car dash, in my phone, etc

    Regularly have the word being read in my home.

    Build a list of scriptures on my phone that i am memorizing

    Regularly play worship music

    There are several key patterns that draw me away from God:  Stress and anxiety, busyness, too much on my plate, not controlling my thought life, not spending quality time with the Lord each day.  When I have these  patterns they are an automatic, WAKE UP CALL!  I stop and spend time with the Lord, asking for forgiveness for ignoring Him.  And yes it is done over the sink or with my head in the washer!  : ))  I am regularly asking God to remind me to spend time with Him, to focus on Him.  In retrospection, I really want relationship with the Father.  I really want closeness daily, where I am acknowledging Him and becoming like Him.   Praise God I can hear His voice! : )